Resources for Transgender, Genderqueer, Agender, Nonbinary & Asexual Communities
Transgender people may face unique challenges in their sex lives. If you’ve had gender-affirming surgery, you might be interested in how to have pleasurable sex with your body changes. Organizations including the Human Rights Campaign, Fenway Health, Kimberly Keiser and Associates and the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists have information that may be helpful.
Many times, asexuality (sometimes abbreviated as the word Ace) can be confused with lack of desire for sex. The Asexuality Visibility and Education Network provides online forums and educational resources for the asexual community. PFLAG and the Human Rights Campaign provide definitions as well.
Resources for Aging and Sexuality
- Mayo Clinic: Sexual Health And Aging: Keep The Passion Alive
- Mayo Clinic: Sex Tips for Older Men
- National Institute on Aging: Sexuality in Later Life
- EverlyWell: Sexuality and Aging: Your Guide to Maintaining Sexual Health
- The North American Menopause Society: Frequently Asked Questions
- Joan Price: Books on Aging, Sex, and Sexuality
Resources for Survivors of Trauma and Abuse
- Self: What It's Like to Reclaim Your Sex Life After Sexual Assault
- InStyle: How to Reconnect With Your Body After Sexual Assault
- Modern Intimacy: Developing Hot + Healthy Intimacy After Sexual Trauma
- Chicago Alliance Against Sexual Exploitation: Reclaiming Sex and Romance After Assault
Resources for Self-Education
- American Sexual Health Association: ASHA provides a variety of content on understanding your body, sexual pleasure, sex as we grow older, and how to find the right provider.
- Bedsider: Bedsider provides information on birth control methods, helps users find clinics, and also includes articles on sexual pleasure.
- COSMO: 19 Ways to Make Sex Last Longer
- Men’s Health Magazine: The 25 Best Men’s Health Sex Tips Ever
- Planned Parenthood: Sex, Pleasure and Sexual Dysfunction
- PsychCentral: How to Leave Shame out of Your Sex life
- Scarleteen: Sex Ed for the Real World: Scarleteen provides resources for teens and emerging adults around relationship issues, sexual orientation, abuse, sexual health and much more. Check out their sexual inventory stock list to learn how to communicate your sexual desires with a partner.
- Sex Positive: How to Masturbate With A Vagina, Step-by-Step
- Teen Vogue: How to Masturbate: There’s No “Right” Way
Resources for Partner Communication
- Atlanta Innovative: Communicating About Sex: How Sex Therapy Can Help You
- Five Action Steps for Good Sexual Health: Steps 3 & 4
- Bustle: Let’s Talk About Sex – And The Best Way To Do That
- Refinery29: 30 Sex “Rules” For People in Long Term Relationships
- Well + Good: I Have a Higher Libido Than My Partner—How Can I Be Both Supportive and Satisfied?
Resources for Parenting and Sex
- Medium: How To Have A Sex Life When You Have Kids
- Scary Mommy: How To Still Have Sex Once You Are A Parent
- Parents: 3 Ways to Have Hotter Sex As a Parent
Books:
This collection of resources provides general and additional information on sex, sexual health, and sexuality.
- Our Bodies, Ourselves – Boston Women’s Health Book Collective
- S.E.X.: the all-you-need-to-know sexuality guide to get you through your teens and twenties – Heather Corrina
- Pleasure Activism – Adrienne Maree Brown
- Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life – Justin Lehmiller
- The Game of Desire – Shan Boodram
- Not Always in the Mood – Sarah Hunter Murray
- Better Sex Through Mindfulness – Lori Brotto
- Come As You Are – Emily Nagoski
- Becoming Cliterate – Laurie Mintz
Resources to Help Understand Your Concerns
This section provides more detailed information on specific concerns you may have, along with links to helpful resources. We have laid out these concerns based on whether you have a vagina/vulva or penis. We do this because the treatments, resources, and the types of providers who respond to these concerns are typically recommended based on gender and/or body parts.
Sexual Concerns for People with Vagina/Vulva
- Decreased desire and sex drive is common among people of all ages and genders. It can be caused by a variety of physical and mental health conditions. For more information, here are a few resources:
- Low Sex Drive in Women – Mayo Clinic
- Decreased Desire – North American Menopause Society
- Why do Women Lose Interest in Sex? – WebMD
- Low Sex Drive for Females: Symptoms, Diagnosis, and Treatment – Healthline
- The inability to become aroused occurs when your body does not respond to physical or non-physical sexual stimulation. This can happen at any age, but is most common for older women who have experienced menopause. The following resources provide more details:
- Understanding Female Sexual Arousal Disorder – Healthline
- What is Female Sexual Interest/Arousal Disorder? – Medical News Today
- Female Sexual Interest/Arousal Disorder – University of Texas
- Lack of orgasm/orgasm difficulties. Orgasms vary in intensity and frequency for people who experience them. But, the inability to orgasm can cause distress and may interfere with a relationship. There are many resources that can help you understand this concern, and reach an orgasm by yourself or with a partner(s):
- Anorgasmia in women – Mayo Clinic
- Orgasmic Dysfunction in Women – Medline Plus
- Orgasmic Dysfunction – Healthline
- Orgasmic Disorder – Merck Manual
- Unwanted pain during penetration and pain during intercourse should not be part of sex. Pain can be experienced during initial penetration or can occur throughout vaginal, digital or anal sex. To address the issue, you could try using a water-based lubricant. If this doesn’t relieve the pain, seek out professional advice. To learn more about pain during sex, you can explore:
- What Women Need to Know About Pain During Sex – Cedars Sinai
- Painful Intercourse (Dyspareunia) – Mayo Clinic
- Painful Sex in Women – WebMD
- When Sex is Painful – ACOG
- Painful Sex After Menopause: Causes and Treatments – Healthline
- Vaginal dryness can be frustrating, but it’s something you can manage. While people can experience this concern at any age, it’s most common in those who have gone through menopause. Using a water-based lubricant can help address vaginal dryness; however, if the concern persists it could mean you are experiencing vaginal atrophy. You can seek help from a medical professional, who can prescribe other treatments. To learn more about vaginal dryness, you can check out these resources:
- Vaginal Dryness – Mayo Clinic
- Vaginal Dryness: Causes and Moisturizing Treatments – WebMD
- Vaginal Dryness – North American Menopause Society
Sexual Concerns for People with a Penis
- Decreased desire and sex drive is common among people of all ages and genders. It can be caused by a variety physical and mental health conditions. For more information, here are a few resources:
- Decreased Libido in Men – Merck Manual
- Low Sex Drive: Common Causes and Treatment – Healthline
- Let’s Talk About Low Libido – Mayo Clinic
- Erectile Dysfunction (ED) is one of the most talked about types of sexual dysfunction for people with a penis. It means you can’t get or keep an erection firm enough to have sexual intercourse. Having trouble with an erection from time to time isn’t necessarily a cause for concern. But, if this is an ongoing issue, it’s a good idea to speak with a medical professional. The following resources provide more information on ED:
- Erectile Dysfunction – Mayo Clinic
- Everything You Need to Know About Erectile Dysfunction (ED) – Healthline
- Erectile Dysfunction (ED) – Urology Care Foundation
- Erectile Dysfunction – MedlinePlus
- Premature ejaculation occurs when you ejaculate (come) sooner during sex than you or your partner(s) would like. Like ED, premature ejaculation can happen from time to time, and is only a cause for concern if it happens often or is having a negative effect on your sex life. The following resources explain what premature ejaculation is:
- Premature Ejaculation – Mayo Clinic
- What is Premature Ejaculation? – Urology Care Foundation
- Premature Ejaculation – WebMD
- Premature Ejaculation, What Is It? – Harvard Health Publishing
- Delayed or inhibited ejaculation is when a person takes an extended period of time to ejaculate (come) or does not ejaculate after sexual pleasure at all. Causes include lack of interest in sex, performance anxiety, or certain medications. However, this can also happen when under the influence of drugs or alcohol. A medical professional can help address the concern if it is inhibiting your sex life. You can learn more here:
- Delayed Ejaculation – Mayo Clinic
- What is Delayed Ejaculation (DE)? – Healthline
- Delayed Ejaculation – UCLA Health