So, you’re consistently complaining about how horrid condoms feel during sex, but you’ve never really thought about how to increase your pleasure while using them. Before you cast the condoms to the side and place yourself and your partner at risk for unintended pregnancy and STI transmission, my colleagues and I have five simple ways you can make condom use sexier and more satisfying for both of you.
1. Use a few drops of lube inside of the condom.
You may or may not have heard about this little trick, but placing a few drops of lube inside of the condom before placing it on can turn up the pleasure. Dr. Hilda Hutcherson, MD, Professor of Obstetrics and Gynecology at Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons, gives the perfect advice on how to achieve this increased pleasure with condom usage. “Placing a drop or 2 (no more or the condom may slide off!) of water based lubricant in the reservoir tip of the condom will increase a man’s pleasure,” she states. “The lubricant helps with transfer of sensation to the head of the penis. This is especially true when you use the type of condom with the large pouch at the tip. With this type of condom, the pouch rolls around the head of the penis, providing additional stimulation. Some men say it is better than going naked.” Trojan and Astroglide both have water based lubricants available on the market at your nearest drugstore in the family planning aisle, right next to the condoms, of course. You can also grab a box of Trojan “Ecstasy” condoms that fit exactly how Dr. Hutcherson described with a grip at the base and a wider fit towards the tip.
2. Try a different condom texture.
Unlike the thick, rubbery condoms of the past, condoms have evolved to thinner materials that feature various textures and lubricants to increase pleasure while providing ultimate protection. Deborah Arrindell, Vice President, Health Policy at the American Sexual Health Association lends her advice on more pleasurable condom options for couples. “Many of today’s condoms are designed with pleasure and protection in mind. There are condoms with good lubricants both inside and outside the condom. You can get ridges for added sensation, and you can get extremely thin condoms. There’s also a condom that’s designed to be looser so the penis moves inside of the condom for added sensation.”
You can find a variety of these condoms in the Trojan Party Pack that contains a variation of textures and lubrications that provide cooling and heated sensations. You can shop online for condoms discreetly at retailers like Jet.com or Amazon.
3. Place on a condom in a sexy way.
The mind controls the body, and believe it or not your brain is the center control for your sex life. Some men who have had bad experiences with condoms hold on to those memories and the mere thought of a condom can cause their erections to weaken. But if you use sexy methods for placing on the condom, the experience can become exciting and something that you begin looking forward to. Your partner can place on the condom for you using her lips and tongue. Or she can use her hands as her mouth follows along combining foreplay and safer sex play. Everything is made better when it’s done with a little sensuality. Play around with different methods of sexy condom application and even turn it into a sexy sex education class, except without the bananas.
4. Throw out your bad condom memories.
We all have bad sexual experiences, but living in the past does no one any good. You may have had a less than pleasurable experience with using the wrong type of condom, whether the fit was too snug or the lubrication caused irritation. But the fact is there are other condoms on the market that will work better for you than the last. If condoms rubbed you the wrong way in 2004 and you discontinued your use of them up until this moment, then you’ve missed out on the amazing advancements condoms have gone through over an entire decade. Why hold condoms to a standard of the past? Throw out those old memories you have about condoms (and those old condoms at that) and begin to develop new and more pleasurable experiences with condoms by experimenting with what the market has to offer.Knowing that you’re protecting yourself and your partner and allowing honest, uninhibited sex to take place should make you feel empowered and sexy as a lover. Sex is always better when your mind is able to be clear of negative outcomes or past experiences.
5. Change your mindset about pleasure.
Sometimes your inability to have a sensational experience during sex has nothing to do with the condom itself but everything to do with how you view pleasure. ASSECT Certified Sex educator and popular sexologist Dr. Logan Levkoff, Ph.D, shares her thoughts on how the concept of pleasure plays a big role in how couples enjoy sex with condoms. “I think it’s about refining what pleasure is,” she states. I always tell people, if you’re not wearing a condom and in the back of your head you’re thinking is this the time I’m going to get something…is this the time I’m going to get pregnant, doesn’t that take you out of the experience? Your body clenches up, your muscles get stiff, and that mindset is super counterintuitive to feeling pleasure. So I think it’s about looking at pleasure from a mental and physical perspective.” Having a relaxed mind free of stress and anxiety allows the body to become relaxed and in the moment to receive sexual pleasure.
You can find out more information about condoms on the ASHA National Condom Month Landing page.
How to Tell Your Partner Exactly What You Need
Communicating about the things you want and need in a relationship can be easier said than done. Amber Madison tells us how in this article written on behalf of the NCSH.
Take Care of Your Sexual, Reproductive Health: Latino Groups Create Handy Resource Guide
The NCSH’s call-to-action and new Spanish-language guide "Tome el Control de Su Salud Sexual" are featured in this article.
New Guide Helps Primary Care Providers Discuss STDs with Patients
This article features the NCSH's new guide, "Sexual Health and Your Patients: A Provider's Guide," and extensively quotes NCSH member Dr. Michael Horberg, Director of HIV/AIDS, Kaiser Permanente.
This Is How Often You Need To Get Tested For STDs, Based On Your Relationship Status
It's not always easy to know how often to get tested for STDs. NCSH member and spokesperson Dr. Edward Hook III outlines in this article how often people in different types of relationships should get tested.
This Is Exactly What Chlamydia And Gonorrhea Feel Like
NCSH member and spokesperson Dr. Katharine O'Connell White shares what chlamydia and gonorrhea feel like for most people, which is nothing because they are mostly asymptomatic infections.
Why We’re All So Afraid Of Herpes, Even Though It’s Actually Not The Worst STD
In this article, NCSH members Dr. Edward Hook and Jenelle Marie Davis aim to reassure that herpes can be effectively managed, and that you can still have relationships and sex.