• Skip to main content
  • Skip to footer
National Coalition for Sexual Health (NCSH)
  • Contact Us
  • Home
  • About Us
    • Goals & Values
    • Our Members
    • Staff
    • Contact Us
  • Learn About Sexual Health
    • What is Sexual Health?
    • Audience Profiles
    • Research Products
  • Sexual Health Resources
    • For the Public
      • Quiz: How’s Your Sexual Health?
      • A Guide to Sexual Concerns and Pleasure
      • Chlamydia and Gonorrhea Testing: More Than Just Genitals
      • Sexual Health Quick Tips
      • Take Charge of Your Sexual Health: What you need to know about preventive services
        • What Are Preventive Sexual Health Services?
          • Preventive Services for Transgender & Gender-Expansive Individuals
          • Preventive Services for People with a Vagina/Vulva
          • Preventive Services for People with a Penis
        • What is Good Sexual Health and How Do I Achieve It?
        • How Can I Talk with My Health Care Provider About Sexual Health?
          • What Types of Health Care Providers Address Sexual Health?
          • What to Look for in a Sexual Health Care Provider
          • How Do I Bring Up the Topic?
          • What Kinds of Questions Should I Ask?
          • What Questions Might My Health Care Provider Ask Me?
        • Resources
          • Affordable Care Act Coverage
          • Where Can I Learn More?
            • Finding a Provider or Clinic
            • HIV, STIs, and Viral Hepatitis
            • Intimate Partner Violence
            • Contraceptives
            • Teens & Young Adults
            • Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual & Transgender
            • Older Adults
      • Mpox Vaccine: Promotion Materials Toolkit
      • Five Action Steps to Good Sexual Health
        • Value Who You Are and Decide What’s Right For You
        • Get Smart About Your Body and Protect It
        • Treat Your Partners Well and Expect Them to Treat You Well
        • Build Positive Relationships
        • Make Sexual Health Part of Your Health Care Routine
      • Talking with the Public about Sexual Health Message Frameworks
    • For Providers
      • Clinician Guide for Trauma-Informed Care
      • Inclusive Sexual Health Services: Practical Guidelines for Providers & Clinics
      • A New Approach to Sexual History Taking: A Video Series
      • Sexual Health and Your Patients: A Provider’s Guide
      • Sexual Health Questions to Ask All Patients
      • Sexual Health and Your Patients: Pocket Cards
      • Compendium of Sexual & Reproductive Health Resources for Healthcare Providers
      • Mpox Vaccine: Promotion Materials Toolkit
      • Take Charge of Your Sexual Health: What you need to know about preventive services
      • Talking with the Public about Sexual Health: Message Frameworks
    • Promotional Materials
  • Recursos en Español
    • Tome el control de su salud sexual
    • Consejos rápidos sobre la salud sexual
    • Gráficos para compartir
    • Preguntas sobre la salud sexual para todos los pacientes
  • Media
    • Sexual Health in the News
    • News Archive
    • Media Inquiries
    • Press Releases
  • Get Involved
    • Social Media Campaign
    • Shareable Graphics
    • Joining the Coalition

Media Center

Why The Brain Is Our Most Important Sex Organ

Jan 18, 2018   ·  SheKnows ·  Link to Article

Other News This Week

How you think about sex matters when it comes to your health

How we experience our sexuality has a lot to do with bodies: how we like to touch and be touched, how we respond to different kinds of stimulation or illness or physiological issues that may change our sexual desire and responses. But that’s not the whole picture. A big part of our sex lives is defined by the things we have learned about sex, by what we think and how we think about sex and by what we know and believe about relationships.

Even though there are certain medical issues that can impact our sex lives, many who face sexual health challenges should look to their minds rather than their bodies. Just like we know the placebo effect is real, we understand that sometimes what seems like a physical problem can be all in our heads. I spoke with Dr. Logan Levkoff, AASECT-certified clinical sexologist and sex educator, about how our minds can affect our sexuality.

“There’s a great deal of sexual implications that come from our psychology, our education, our upbringing and the messages we get from culture and the media," she explains. "These things contribute to how we see ourselves as sexual beings and how we understand sexuality, consent and relationships."

Where do we get our beliefs about sexuality?

Regardless of the culture we grow up in, we hear messages about sexuality from it all the time. What is consent? What are the sexual roles of men and women? When is it appropriate or not to have sex with a partner? What kinds of relationships allow for sex? Are masturbation, pornography and nonheterosexual relationships acceptable?

And as with many cultural messages, sometimes, they don’t match our desires or our experience. Take queer sexuality, for example. Before the gay rights movement, many LGBTQ people felt they had a “disordered” sexuality that required treatment. Homosexuality was considered a mental illness until 1973. The messages around nonheterosexual desire made some people feel distressed about their desires, leading them to believe they were broken or wrong.

“It’s impossible to consider what it means to be sexually healthy without having a really good understanding of the messages that we receive,” says Levkoff.

Like it or not, a big part of our sexuality is culturally determined. There are no “inherently natural” acts or roles; as author Yuval Noah Harari notes in Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind, if it's physically possible for humans to do, then it’s “natural." The concept of what's normal and abnormal is based on cultural beliefs.

The role of shame

According to Levkoff, the way we internalize those cultural messages can lead us to feel shame about our sexuality. “If we feel an ounce of shame about who we are, our identity, consent or speaking up, it can have significant physical and mental sexual health outcomes," she says. "That’s when we have trouble giving consent or discussing boundaries.”

Everyone, but women especially, is being shamed all the time. Too slutty or too prude; if you’ve been assaulted or raped, it’s your fault; you should be thin but curvy… the list goes on. In our sexual lives, shame stops us from exploring our identity and desires and from expressing our sexuality in the ways that feel authentic to us.

“We need to give ourselves the freedom to think about what we want as sexually healthy people,” Levkoff explains. “Acknowledging our wants, desires and needs impacts our self-esteem, our voice and our power.” When shame tells us we’re bad people for wanting what we want, we need to fight it with authenticity and honesty.

Throw away the script

Our thoughts and beliefs about sex can lead us to a wonderful, fulfilling sex life; or it can fill us with shame and guilt. Levkoff insists there is no right or wrong way to experience sexuality and "no one else is allowed to define your sexuality for you.” The power is in your hands to throw away the scripts being hurled at us from every direction and to write our own sexual story.

When it comes to sex, our psychology matters just as much as our physiology — if not more. We may be perfectly physically healthy, but if we believe our sexuality is wrong or disordered in some way, a satisfying sex life will remain out of our reach. So when you face issues in your sexual life, you should certainly consult a doctor to eliminate any physical causes; but more often than not, the root of the problem is psychological.

News Archives

  • Sexual Health in the News
  • News Archive
  • Media Inquiries
  • Press Releases
NCSH Fact Sheet

Media Inquiries

For general media inquiries about sexual health topics and/or to schedule an interview with one of our experts, please contact Susan Gilbert, NCSH Co-Director, at 
susan.gilbert@altarum.org

Get the News in Your Inbox

Footer

  • Five Action Steps to Good Sexual Health

    Go to Website
  • Take Charge of Your Sexual Health

    All about preventive services (English and Spanish) Go to Website

    Go to Website
  • COVID-19 and Sexual Health

    Practical advice to help you protect your sexual health Go to Website

    Go to Website

It’s about honesty. It’s about knowledge. It’s about time.

  • Home
  • About
  • What is Sexual Health?
  • For the Public
  • For Providers
  • Recursos en Español
  • Media
  • Get Involved
  • Contact Us
Copyright © · National Coalition for Sexual Health · All Rights Reserved

Privacy Policy Accessibility Statement Sitemap

iHealthspot Medical Website Design and Medical Marketing by iHealthSpot.com